Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in ursuz's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
8:46 pm	blahblah blah Sick Tired Sick Bored 2 months to christmas!!! yay Okay i think this might be my last entry, this blog depresses the hell out of me. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 20th, 2005
11:54 am	Landlord came today... He was super nice about the dead trees and plants and all that jazz, offered to get someone in to sort it all out for us! (great right?) Wrong. He want to put a mobile phone mast on the roof. I dunno what we are going to do, they are going to send us all the bumpf (details) and we will look and see, i think we may have to move..i have mixed feelings about that. Whilst i am not exactly keen on having to deal with our landlord or worry constantly about all how he is going to react when he turns up and find whatever ive done wrong this time... we are settled here, we just got the place all sorted and furnished...and we have broadband interent which was a real headache to sort out, what if the new place doesn't. I may be geting ahead of myself, i am just worried, i mean is it even sensible to try for a baby if we stay? a kid with 2 heads from all that radiation is going to get picked on at school... Current Mood: worried (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 16th, 2005
11:55 am	nearly christmas ca you believe it? nearly christmas...i hate christmas im a total grinch (excpet i secretly love it but shhh dont tell anyone) I know what you are thinking ...but i had to book my flights for christmas so i am mentlly there already I nearly started the pressie list...had to slap myself. Which was fun :P Anywho i am still SPOE and still boring! Amarchy is down...so i may have to sleep or something. I am beyond tired but i bwake up everyfew hrs its really pissing me off, maybe my subconcious is trying to tell me something... Or the saying "No rest for the wicked is true!" God i hope not, being wicked is tiring :P Anyway peace harmony and goodwill to all men (espescially hot ones :P) (slips away humming jingle bells...) Current Mood: indescribable (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
10:46 pm	sigh hey guess what! Nothing I have done nothing for days, im sick, pissed off, overtired and emotional... S.P.O.E God i am so tired Night world! p.s And is it freezing! Current Mood: cold (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, October 7th, 2005
4:39 am	The Truth It has just occured to me whilst looking in the mirror that 'being a grown up' is a lie, its a pile of shit, i have been tricked all these years...I always thought that one day like magic, i would turn into the mythical beast that is a fully fledged adult. But i now know and it pains me to accept it, its all bollocks every adult is walking around just as confused and as unsure as they were when tehy were kids, they look in the mirror and still see the kid that they were. I cannot express in words how much this pains me, i actually feel like someone just pulled the rug out from under me. I cried when i realised with such clarity that this is it. Its as good as it gets, i will never be this mythical creature, i will have to go through my life making descions i am incapable of making and hoping they are the right ones, that i will lie to my children that i know best...when i dont. That every adult is walking around pretending. It is like a passed on conspiracy, everyone pretending... It depresses me so much. I wish i could convey in words how sad i am right now. I always excpected to be this wonderful amazing adult, when i was young and looked at my mother, she always seem to know the right answer and she always seemed sure about things. Was it all an act? Or is it just me? Am i incapable of growing up? Has everyone undergone some sort of magical transformation... I dont know what i excpected to be when i grew up, but it wasnt this, i dont mean career or anything like that, i mean the person that i am. I cannot express with the right words the total and utter despair i just experienced, i hope there aren't any more surprises waiting for me. Current Mood: disappointed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 6th, 2005
9:55 pm	Oh happy day! Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cooked a curry today and i cant taste anything now.:) The zit is now meerly continent sized(i squished it)! So what did i do today? I bought Anarchy online expansion ands still downloading, so i have something to do when I am old and grey :P I am happy! I have no clue why must be contagious:) I watched the film The Pacifier is was very silly. I tidyed up slightly, and have done literally nothing else, wow you know the expression waste of space? thats me...AND I AM PROUD :) I cannot think of much to say so instead i will sing a little song! Wouldn't it, wouldn't it, wouldn't it be funny! If a woman had a wooden tit wooden tit wooden tit! Say it out loud its funnier!!! K nothing more to say at this time, i may be back!!! Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
12:55 am	OMG! I have the biggest zit in the world! Its so big you can see it from space, NASA are probably like WTF is that!!! Sorry but I havent had zits ever! And at almost 27 you would think i was beyond it...sigh. Okay what happened today? what are my thoughts on life the universe and everything else? No clue, this zit is sapping all my energy, i think its going to take over the world, or i would if i could muster the strength to think:P Okay it isnt that bad but i am vain and it's annoying me. Today I went to the shops and did bugger all else! Yay for me! I feel like i should be out doing charity work or finding a cure for uglyness but instead I play computer games... Wow now there is a thought! What would happen if all the ugly people were made beautiful, and everyone was beautiful? What would we judge each other on then???? Intelligence?? *shudder* I am bored once again so I am going to watch a film, or I could just sit here and let all of the crazy out of my head. hmmm choices choices. Nah movie it is, I will be even more dull if i lose the crazy. Current Mood: crazy (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2005
1:21 am	Hmmm It occured to me today that the question, What is your favourite colour? Is a very poor one, favourite colour what? I always answer that question with red. But would i like a red cat or Dog? No! Would I wear red jeans? NO. Would I like to live in a red house with red furnishings and have red grass and red trees and red children? Hell no! Another thing occured to me aswell, If i could time travel into the future, I wouldn't do it. Imagine you travel to like a year in the future and you are not there!!! How horrible would that be?? I tidied the house today, I have messed it up again, but well at least I did it.:) I feel at a loss for what to do with myself again at the moment, it's because we had people here, and there were activities. I have spent a week 'doing' things, so now I have boredom, I need to retrain myself again. So what did i do today? No much if I am honest. Played on the computer and watched a movie. Anyway I am starting to feel introspective and am having depressing thoughts, so... tune in tomorrow:) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
4:36 am	A day in the life of... Okay I got up mid afternoon, forgot to go pay the rent! Landlord is going to love me. The boiler in the downstairs bathroom is leaking again, and we are skint. I starting tidying up with the best of intentions...got bored, went out for take away food, brought it home and then dived on to the computer. Been here ever since. I wonder if that is an addiction? I m not used to writing my thoughts, I dont have that many, i might run out and then what would happen? The thing that scares me about this journal, is i am very worried that every day its going to say the same thing, and my life is like groundhogg day. and then i will have to admit it and get a job... I will endevour to be intersting then, maybe I should create a make believe life, one where i occasionally leave the house...nah noone would believe it! Its the middle of the night again, I just cant seem to sleep. And i am so bored. Current Mood: bored (1 Comment |Comment on this)